Trying

I've dived again

Not wanting to be saved this time

I called for help before

No one listened

This pain persists

The anger lives in a box next to my tears

My lips are soaked from the tears that appear when you are near

I'm falling forever 

Why can I lay here alone and forget time

The same you use to forget about me

Is the same time I use to try and forget you

Your ignorance to my pain sickens me

My appetite was donated to the souls feeding themselves off of my agony

Distrust and lust

Pain and memories

Sex and lies

Never want to leave this place they call "alone"

I'm fine here I promise

My eyes won't come off the ground to explore much else

The memories here are so familiar

If I ran forever through the grass that I lie in when I'm weak, and comforted by when I'm sleep...

Would this same grass remember me?

Will it lead me to brightness?

Will my wounds heal when I finally make it?

Because people won't understand me

I've tried to tell them all

They won't listen

I fear I am alone and always have been

Will someone look for me and find the things I have written laying next to my soft, warm hands? In a book of tattered and tear dried pages from the pain you have caused.

Truth is..

I've been gone for month

Tryna play it off smooth, like he's got better things to do

He can front that to you

Probably laying in someone's fantasy, naked.

Letting the silk white sheets hug every curve of my body

Letting the sun hit my face and ricochet off my breast into the tall mirror in front of me

The same mirror I can barely stare into

The only thing in this world that won't lie to me

I don't know what's real and what's not

I hear laughter outside

I feel pain inside 

I still can't eat

I'm more hungry for attention

The sex that used to drive me insane is now the reason for this pain

When they look at me

They..

What do you think they see?

Can they see everything?

I am afraid they can.

I tried to tell them before

But no one would listen

Happy Anniversary to the death of me

I am lost in a world full of people who don't believe in me because i believe in you

I'm not in my own mind

I can't be trusted to be there anymore

Will you wake up? 

I want my life back

You only touch me when you want 

Why are your emotions laying next to me?

In this box 

This box that you refuse to let anyone in?

Then why are you imagining me?

Why am I in your dreams?

I'm REALER than anything else ever seems

I've been trapped here for months

I'm sick of crying

Please...

Wake up..

Then wake me up....

But when you do...

Look at me and tell me that that box of emotions was real...

And I'll look back at you and tell you that my box of tears were REALER

And when I close my eyes again...just leave..

Cause the pain it causes to see you come and go....is unimaginable 

I'll trust this is all a dream. 

I pray you never wake up.

I pray I've been sleep this whole time

I've tried...

I tried...

I...

Loved you