Don't Blink Twice

So if many of you are like me (and I know you are) then you are looking for that perfect mascara to give you the ideal lashes you desire. I found a few sites helpful for the holidays. Merry Christmas and God Bless 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/_mobile/hairstyles-beauty/skin-care-makeup/best-mascaras#slide-1

http://www.totalbeauty.com/content/gallery/p-best-drugstore-mascaras

http://makeup.allwomenstalk.com/tips-on-how-to-make-eyelashes-grow

Same Ones

They claim they're happy

Swear they frontin'

How could they be?

They lookin' right at me...

The same ones who appear so sweet

Are secretly plotting...

They're nasty...

The remarks they make and judgement mistakes...

How would they even know you're story?

Who loves you?

Or how much money you make?

But you can spot the real from fake.

Any day you're feeling low

Watch em shift from hate to snake..

The dudes notice it too...

So keep ya chin up boo...

You got a billion other brothas tryna get at you...

Cause the one you thought was right...

Was never really fucking you right...

Spectators want insight...

But the one you thought you could trust..

Are the same ones in the dust..

Thought they'd have your back

Stand behind you no matter what...

But they quick to get behind you, tryna catch a nut...

These fools are dangerous...

But So what....

They're not more dangerous than us..

An OG told me they're lonely, and don't get out too much..,

Watch the girls layin low....

They peep game...

They won't say much...

But let you have some drama..

And these chicks wanna do lunch...

But watch out for those girls too..

They're quick to play the fool...

Wanna give you advice..

But they're life ain't right..

And swear they got better things to do...

The minute you turn yo back..

Watch the snakes attack...

They want the attention you got...

So everyday they pray that your beauty rots..

Shhh...

Don't speak, let em listen to the sound of your gum pop...

Let your lips stay dry...

The same ones scheming on you swear they got lip gloss

Don't let em know where you shop, who you fuck, or what you bought...

Everyone swears they could do it better

Or they're telling you you're getting got...

Cause you could do better

Would do better...

Are really better...

Yeah...

Let me guess,

They're mad cause you're doing shit that they're not..

And dudes are snakes too...

Don't let em fool you..

If you give him ass tonight, then he'll try to use you

He's a jerk!

Don't spread ya legs...

The minute he gives you head...

Swear he's entitled to your bed...

Never returning the love...

So hold out and make em beg...

Cause the same ones you calling "baby"

Won't visit E.R. If you broke ya leg...

Rather watch you hurt and listen to the snakes talk dirt...

Than represent what you meant...

And place your importance first...

Wondering why your phone is dry...

You ignored the other niggas for him...

Remember?

The same ones you said had too much thirst?

Ignored all the calls from them...

You never called em back...

Let the phone ring from him, you break ya neck for that...

You let him tell you that he missed you...

Just enough to let him kiss you...

And you know what happens next...

Cause after he leaves you need tissue...

When you gonna wake up baby? 

When you gonna learn?

Niggas playing their position...

So other brothas gotta wait their turn...

Now your ex is calling you more,

Your haters lurking a lot...

The dude who claims you are nothing...

Really misses you a lot...

Set their pride aside for one second...

Let their ego frost...

Cause the same ones who were against you...now have some karma to box

And the people you thought were your friends...they're just trying to fuck a lot.

But that one person, who stood by your side...

Never stopped loving you...

And you didn't know why...

Listened to stories about you and other problems...

Even heard you cry...

The same one that had your back then...

And still has your back now...

Is the same one you keep overlooking to talk to clowns...

But you better watch out.

Karma is a never ending cycle...

Keep letting the wrong ones in and the wrong ones keep getting recycled.

You won't notice it at first...

It's a pattern of such...

Never ignore a person who cares too much...

It's better to beg for forgiveness than to beg for his touch..

Or stick around real homies that never broke that trust...

The same ones you hurt today, are the same ones who could cure your luck.

Trying

I've dived again

Not wanting to be saved this time

I called for help before

No one listened

This pain persists

The anger lives in a box next to my tears

My lips are soaked from the tears that appear when you are near

I'm falling forever 

Why can I lay here alone and forget time

The same you use to forget about me

Is the same time I use to try and forget you

Your ignorance to my pain sickens me

My appetite was donated to the souls feeding themselves off of my agony

Distrust and lust

Pain and memories

Sex and lies

Never want to leave this place they call "alone"

I'm fine here I promise

My eyes won't come off the ground to explore much else

The memories here are so familiar

If I ran forever through the grass that I lie in when I'm weak, and comforted by when I'm sleep...

Would this same grass remember me?

Will it lead me to brightness?

Will my wounds heal when I finally make it?

Because people won't understand me

I've tried to tell them all

They won't listen

I fear I am alone and always have been

Will someone look for me and find the things I have written laying next to my soft, warm hands? In a book of tattered and tear dried pages from the pain you have caused.

Truth is..

I've been gone for month

Tryna play it off smooth, like he's got better things to do

He can front that to you

Probably laying in someone's fantasy, naked.

Letting the silk white sheets hug every curve of my body

Letting the sun hit my face and ricochet off my breast into the tall mirror in front of me

The same mirror I can barely stare into

The only thing in this world that won't lie to me

I don't know what's real and what's not

I hear laughter outside

I feel pain inside 

I still can't eat

I'm more hungry for attention

The sex that used to drive me insane is now the reason for this pain

When they look at me

They..

What do you think they see?

Can they see everything?

I am afraid they can.

I tried to tell them before

But no one would listen

Happy Anniversary to the death of me

I am lost in a world full of people who don't believe in me because i believe in you

I'm not in my own mind

I can't be trusted to be there anymore

Will you wake up? 

I want my life back

You only touch me when you want 

Why are your emotions laying next to me?

In this box 

This box that you refuse to let anyone in?

Then why are you imagining me?

Why am I in your dreams?

I'm REALER than anything else ever seems

I've been trapped here for months

I'm sick of crying

Please...

Wake up..

Then wake me up....

But when you do...

Look at me and tell me that that box of emotions was real...

And I'll look back at you and tell you that my box of tears were REALER

And when I close my eyes again...just leave..

Cause the pain it causes to see you come and go....is unimaginable 

I'll trust this is all a dream. 

I pray you never wake up.

I pray I've been sleep this whole time

I've tried...

I tried...

I...

Loved you

Quieres?????

Mhmmmmm.....🎧🎶🎵🎼

What Happens Now?

Remember those visions we had as children?

We thought we knew what real happiness was 

We thought boys had the cooties and love is beautiful and perfect

Just recently, I don't remember how to feel anymore....

Those words that once left my lips and pierced the ears of past lovers...

What do they mean now?

Why do we care about things we cannot change?

The same reason reason we care about people who cannot

Why don't they see what I see?

Do they see what I see?

Are they taught not to react?

When I blink, who watches me?

Troubled minds...

Wandering souls...

An uncertain future that has me jaded

What did emotion mean when we were kids?

When we received our first kiss...what did we feel..

I'm lost...

In a world of people who don't believe in me because I believe in you

What is faith if you have no restraint?

What is this?

What is this ghost I wake up to everyday...

My thoughts are not my own....

I'm begging for them back....

How can I touch so many lives and still not pierce your heart?

Am I not supposed to be feeling this way?

I wish it were you running your fingers through my hair and not me

Why can't I trust what will happen next?

Why am I so scared of what I can't see?

Can you feel it?

Can you sense the air has changed?

What is to become of the girl with an angry past and an unwilling future?

I just want to wake up and make everything be normal...

Can that happen?

Will God let it?

What is...normal?

Doesn't anybody recognize the girl I used to be?

Is she still here?

Why can't she learn to let go?

Why can't she still see the Disneyland sign out of the passenger window, in her car seat?

Why isn't she smiling? 

Where did everyone around her go?

What will happen to the girl who used to dream?

Selfless Thoughts

This journey of life cannot be traveled alone...

No matter how much I wish...I'll never be home..

What is home ?

Is it this place we call ours...we must not share it with others..

We won't share it with the poor or sick but we'll share it with our lovers...

Is it where we congratulate the weak but yet we forget our brothers?

Lets close our eyes and implant visions of us laying amongst each other...

No harm or danger shall touch our mothers...

Let us love out of passion and not of will...

Let us bring more to the table than they think we will..

This place we laugh, this place we cry, this place we drive, this place we fly...

This is our home...

This is our future...

No one is a guest and everyone has a part..

Sip your merlot slowly while you watch the moon outshine the dark...

Help those children find faith who play in the park..

Teach them how to love...

The family with no heart....

Keep your heart big and your arms stretched...

Keep your love close and your giving wide...

Never let too many people inside...

This is your house..

This is our home..

This is their future...

We are not alone....

Beautiful day ☀

I Want This

They Lied To You

Where am I?

feels like I'm stranded...

On an island of time that's not my own..

Some place far..

I wanna go home...

And if you're coming in my life and can't treat me right...

Then leave me alone...

I hate that when I blink I think of you..

Or all those things we used to do...

You didn't do this for me..

You did this for you...

Wait for me while I find myself..

I've been so lost in you...

I feel empty..blue..

And no one notices me....

not even you...

so me + her + you = 2?

Coulda sworn it was more...

Did some shit I thought I'd never do..

Playin it off smooth like you got betta things to do..

if you're getting what you want...cool

if she's giving you what you need..cool

But if you feel like we were never "WE"..

Then tell me who..

Got these women feenin off the scent of you..

Touchin' their skin in ways they thought they'd never do..

There's some shit I wish I never knew..

about you...

Keep your feelings bottled up..

Keep not giving a fuck..

I'm sure you're dismay in the future is full of luck..

When you look into my eyes..

What do you see..

Not the pain from my past or what you caused me..

do they know I have a seed in my belly...

Or that the guy who ditches my thoughts is clingy..

But not to me...

To variety...

If that doesn't make you sick...

You should smell his dick..

I'ts probably full of chicks with cherry balm lips..

He can front to you but I know better..

probably thinking, "wish I never met her"

I'm not here to impress you..

I have better things to do..

Watch my lips move...

Cause I like it better when they touched you..

Or the feelings you expressed.....that I thought was all you

Funny how your dick does more talking than you..

Better keep an eye on your gold boy..

Someone else is watching the same thing you're forgetting..

And this smile on my face...

Feels completely outta place...

Cause you were never  supposed to be replaced..

But I guess it's true what they say..

You don't need them if they have nothing to say..

Or can go without calling you all day..

The beauty in this is that I see so much of myself in you..

You're lost and confused..

And even if you had me...

You wouldn't know what to do...

Bet your crew would feel me more than you..

You're just young..

It's cool..

It's me not you..

Here's to the better things in life...

Here's to me..

Here's to you...